MISPLACED TRUST

MISPLACED TRUST

BY: Pamela Joy Smith

He was a well-respected Deacon of a local church. The congregation loved him and felt sorry for him as he had recently lost his wife and he had no children of his own. He lamented about how lonely life was without his beloved wife. The families trusted him completely and never questioned his intent when he approached several families and invited their young daughters to visit his house for a weekend. He stressed that he knew how hard the parents worked and he felt that they needed a break over the weekend so that the parents could spend time together while he watched their daughters. He also told them that he had a pool and he could take the girls to the movies. The overwhelmed and appreciative working parents agreed.

The Deacon instituted The Teddy Bear Club for all of the young ladies who would come and spend repeated weekends with him. The young girls enjoyed the many gifts that he lavishly bestowed upon them. The gifts included a teddy bear, jewelry and string bikinis. What the parents did not realize is that this beloved and trusted Deacon was taking photographs of their daughters while they slept posing them in various positions with their nightgowns pushed aside. The trusted Deacon was also touching the girls inappropriately at various times including while they slept. It appeared as if these crimes would go undetected until some of the girls started showing the signs of the onset of puberty. The cherished Deacon stopped extending weekend invitations to those girls.

The girls who were no longer welcomed at the Deacon’s during the weekend complained to their parents about some of the inappropriate touchings that had occurred while they spent time with the Deacon. The parents did not want to believe that their trusted Deacon could do anything to their daughters so they called a meeting with the Deacon. Of course the Deacon denied the allegations and protested that he was a lonely widower and because of certain health conditions, he was unable to have any sexual urges. The parents believed the Deacon and concluded that their daughters had misinterpreted what had happened. Surely a man of God would not do this to their daughters. So being reassured the parents sent the daughters who were invited back to the Deacon’s home every weekend.

Then the next group of girls was discharged from the Teddy Bear Club. Again a meeting was called with the Deacon and he once again denied the accusations. But while he was denying the girl’s charges, one of the girls climbed onto the Deacon’s lap and while engaged in his protestation of innocence, the Deacon’s hand disappeared under the young girl’s dress. The parents were shocked to silence but after the Deacon left, they reported their daughters’ allegations to law enforcement.

The investigation by the Sheriff’s Office led to the Deacon’s arrest. A search warrant conducted on his home revealed several dozen photographs of the girls as they slept with their nightgowns pushed aside. In addition, the girls had been posed in several positions. As a result of the investigation, the Deacon was convicted and sentenced to prison. Before he could serve a portion of his sentence, the Deacon died.

I urge all parents to believe your children if they tell you about inappropriate touching. It is very difficult for children to tell their parents of these acts as the children feel guilt or shame that this has happened to them. They also fear that they have done something wrong to have caused these actions. I also urge you to not give your trust so freely to others just because of their position in a church or in our society. Child Abusers are present in every walk of life. Although the parents in this case did everything they could do to investigate these allegations, please know that when confronted, an abuser will not readily admit to these crimes. Please keep in mind that your child’s trust in telling you should not be misplaced.