Child Abuse Prevention

Pam Joy Smith discuss ways we can all help prevent Child Abuse. Please pass it on! Visit www.whatafan.com

What Can I Do?

What Can I Do?

 By: Pamela Joy Smith

 As an experienced prosecutor, I am often asked “what can I do?” There are so many things that you can do but my primary response is to become educated about child abuse and become involved.  As concerned parents, we need to begin the discussion about child abuse in our own homes with our children.  Unfortunately for those children who are being abused at the hands of their parents or caregivers, the abused children are living the nightmare.  It is incumbent upon our teachers to educate our children about the various kinds of child abuse as well as what children should do if they are being abused. Our teachers should encourage their students to continue the discussion at home.

Since our children spend the majority of their days in school, it is not unusual for an abused child to confide in their teacher.  It then becomes the teacher’s responsibility to protect that child by reporting the abuse to the authorities.  In fact the majority of jurisdictions make it mandatory that teachers and health care providers must report abuse. Sometimes adults question their involvement in such sensitive and horrendous matters. Currently I have a voice teacher who recently told me that one of his young students had confided in him that she was being raped by the stepfather.  Everytime she tells her mother about the abuse, the mother beats her.  I was so discouraged when I asked him if he had called the authorities to report the abuse.  He responded with the typical answer that I hear too frequently, “I don’t want to get involved and what if she is lying about this? “ I strongly encouraged him to make the call and help this child.  When he answered that he wanted to think about it, I asked whether he would identify the child to me and I would make the call. I tried to reason with him and tell him that children of abuse are so traumatized that they are often afraid to report the abuse to anyone for fear of retaliation.  It takes a lot of courage for a child to confide in an adult It is not our job to try to determine if the child is being straight forward, rather report it and let the experts determine the validity as well as the extent of the abuse.  In fact many cases are undetected because the abused child refuses to tell anyone about the abuse.

If a child places their trust in you with what they are experiencing please do not ignore the child, your call could save that child’s life and also protect that child from repeated incidents of child abuse.  In many jurisdictions, you can remain anonymous. Get educated on this topic and get involved. Join us at Whatafan.com in our commitment to black out child abuse.

A Mother’s Betrayal

A Mother’s Betraya

By: Pamela Joy Smith

  I remember asking myself how can a mother not protect her children against anyone who is violating her children and robbing them of their innocence.  I had yet another case involving two children being violated at the hands of their mother’s boyfriend.

The mother worked every day and attended school at night in an attempt to seek a better life for herself.  She entrusted the care of her eight year old daughter and her six year old daughter to her boyfriend.  Her daughters repeatedly told their mother that her boyfriend was doing nasty things to their private parts while the mother was attending school.  Their mother refused to believe them.

However, on the next doctor’s visit, the doctor advised the mother that both girls had gonorrhea, a sexually transmitted disease.  He explained that the infection could be spread by contact with the mouth, vagina, penis, or anus of another person who has the disease.  Even though this mother knew her own boyfriend was being treated for this sexually transmitted disease, she refused to believe that he had raped her own daughters and infected them with this disease.

The Child Protection Team was notified and the Court determined that since the mother was not protecting the children against the sexual abuse, the children were placed in the custody of a loving grandmother.  Pending the trial of the boyfriend, I contacted the grandmother and arranged to visit the children in her home as she had no transportation.  I met the two young children who melted my heart.  They were well-mannered, polite and sweet.  It was evident that they were thriving with the love from their grandmother. They were straight forward in telling me the repeated times that they had been raped.

 At trial, both girls had to testify as to what the defendant had done to them.  Then came the ultimate, the defendant’s star witness was the girls’ mother.  She testified that her daughters had never liked her boyfriend and that she was adamant that they would say anything to try to convince her to leave him.  I remember asking her how could she explain the Doctor’s opinion that both girls had suffered from being raped as evidenced by his medical examination.  The mother calmly answered that her daughters were sexually curious and that she had observed them on several occasions trying to insert various objects including sticks into their private parts.

 Justice was reached when the jury believed the two young girls and found the defendant guilty. Defendant was sentenced to life with a minimum mandatory sentence of twenty five years in prison.  I remember calling the grandmother after I had returned to my office.  The grandmother thanked me repeatedly and her two granddaughters got on the phone and thanked me for helping them. The grandmother then told me that shortly after the verdict and before my call, that her daughter had driven recklessly onto her yard screaming at the girls, “I hope you are satisfied.”

 Wasn’t it enough that these young girls had been raped repeatedly, that they had to be treated for a sexually transmitted disease, that they had to testify in front of a courtroom of strangers in front of their abuser and finally have their own mother betray them?

 Although this is one case solved, there are so many children in our society who suffer daily at the hands of their abusers.  Please join us at Whatafan.com and together, let us make a difference in a child’s life. To quote from an unknown author “ that to the world you may be one person but to that one person you may be the world.” If you know of a child who has confided in you about the abuse from which they suffer, become their world and help stop the abuse by picking up the phone and notifying the authorities.

THE NURSE; A LITTLE GIRL’S HERO

BY: PAMELA JOY SMITH

 She was not even twelve years old but she was repeatedly being raped by her stepfather.  Her younger brother who discovered this did all he could to protect his older sister.  However, the stepfather beat both children, threatening worse acts if either reported the sexual abuse to the authorities.  My heart was heavy and sick as I continued to read that the mother knew about the sexual and physical abuse that her children were experiencing at the hands of her husband yet she did nothing to stop it.  Then came the day when the young girl discovered that she was pregnant.  Her mother and stepfather decided that she would have to get an abortion. The young girl’s mother drove her to the abortion clinic.

     After the abortion, the stepfather continued to violate the young girl and he regularly beat both the victim and her brother.  He also added mental abuse by chastising and ridiculing the young girl by calling her several unkind names.  He demanded that she start taking birth control pills as he accused her of having sex with all of the boys at school.  The poor child kept protesting that she did not have any relationships with anyone and she begged the stepfather to stop raping her. 

     Then it happened again, the young girl discovered that she was pregnant.  Once again her mother and stepfather decided she would have to have another abortion.  Her mother drove her to the same abortion clinic where her mother provided a false name for her daughter.

     That day as the nurse was preparing this young girl for the abortion, she realized that this child had had another abortion within the past year.  The nurse started to counsel the young girl and advised her that if she was going to be sexually active, that it was imperative that the young girl get on birth control pills.  It was too much for this precious child, she burst into tears and confided in the nurse about her dark secret and her fears.  That day, that nurse became her hero for life.  The nurse picked up the phone and called the authorities to report the sexual and physical abuse that this precious child and her brother had experienced at the hands of their stepfather and their own mother.

     This case was assigned to me and we did in fact achieve justice for the young girl and her brother.  This is yet another case of child abuse that pulls at the heartstrings. I never feel as if I can do enough for these children. I so wish that I had the power to erase their pain, experience and hurt.  Even though this case was one that I handled about 20 years ago, I still remember the children and I get so upset remembering what they had to experience at the hands of an abusive stepfather.  I will also never understand why a mother can stand by to allow this to happen to her children.  Children are the greatest gifts in life and they do not deserve to be mistreated or denied the protection parents should give them.

     If a child trusts you and tells you that they are being abused, please become their hero!  Too many children continue to suffer at the hands of their abusers because too many adults who are told of the abuse do not want to get involved.  Please realize that most of the states allow anonymous reporting.  All it takes is one phone call to help a child and become a hero for life.  We are their only hope as they are often threatened with more violence to themselves, their loved ones and even their pets if they report the abuse.  If they place their trust in adults whom they hope will help them, do not ignore their tiny voices for help!  Please do not ignore their cries for help. Step up to the plate and become their hero!

    Please join us at Whatafan.com in our crusade to blackout child abuse.  Together we can make a difference in a child’s life!

PHILLIP AND SUPERMAN

PHILLIP AND SUPERMAN

BY: PAMELA JOY SMITH

Studies show that ten percent of all child abuse cases include intentional burning. The two forms of intentional burning include immersion in which a child is forcibly placed in water that is too hot for the skin to bear and that of placing a hot object against the child’s skin such as a lit cigarette. Almost all of the reported deliberate burns occur to those children under ten years of age by their caregivers.

I read yet another case which had been assigned to me. I was horrified to read about the abuse that four year old Phillip had suffered at the hands of his stepfather. I remembered thinking when am I ever going to stop being shocked by what people do to children. I picked up the photos of Phillip and I was filled with sadness, and anger. How in the world could anyone do this to a vulnerable and precious child? I continued to read with horror to see that not only were these cigarette burns placed all over this child’s body but I also discovered that Phillip’s own mother had witnessed the abuse and had not reported it. The stepfather and mother maintained that Phillip had refused to wear mosquito repellent at a recent family picnic and as a result Phillip had been bitten by mosquitoes. In addition, they emphasized that he had scratched them to the point of infection.

As with all precious children who are the victims of these horrible crimes, my heart melted when I first met with Phillip. I was so impressed with this child. Although he had been tortured at the hands of his stepfather, Phillip had a quiet dignity that I have rarely seen in adults much less children. He was very matter of fact in his recounting what had caused all of the marks on his tiny body.

When this case went to trial, I remember being furious at a stepfather and mother who knew the truth and yet would subject a four year old to a trial. Phillip walked into the courtroom and climbed into the witness chair. I asked him questions about the marks on his body and what caused them. He very softly said his stepdad had placed a cigarette all over his body. I asked him if the cigarette had been lit. He told me yes. I asked him if anyone else had seen this happen, he quietly stated, “my mommy”.

During the defense case, the defense tried to maintain that Phillip was always misbehaving and he did not listen to his parents. The stepfather and mother both testified that Phillip was out of control and that he lied and had an over active imagination which included the fact that he would run through the house pretending he was superman. They tried to convince the jury that these marks on Phillip’s body were the results of infected mosquito bites.

I was so upset and furious with the attempts to belittle Phillip, that by closing argument time, my heart took over to deliver a very impassioned and indignant closing. I remember almost being in tears as I told the jury to look at the evidence and that the Doctor who was an expert in child abuse cases had stated that the pattern of the marks on Phillip’s body were consistent with deliberate cigarette burns which supported Phillip’s version of the facts. I also remarked that Phillip was trying to be a normal little boy which included dressing up as superman and doing what other four year olds do except I was sure that Phillip had hoped and prayed that superman or someone in the adult world would rescue him from this abuse. The Jury returned their verdict agreeing with Phillip and finally giving this tiny child justice just as only superman would have done.

I urge all of you to remember that although there is no superman in our world except on television, in movies and comic books, we have to help these abused children who need us to act as their superman and save them from the cycle of abuse. Wherever Phillip is today, I think of this brave little boy often and I will never forget him.

MISPLACED TRUST

MISPLACED TRUST

BY: Pamela Joy Smith

He was a well-respected Deacon of a local church. The congregation loved him and felt sorry for him as he had recently lost his wife and he had no children of his own. He lamented about how lonely life was without his beloved wife. The families trusted him completely and never questioned his intent when he approached several families and invited their young daughters to visit his house for a weekend. He stressed that he knew how hard the parents worked and he felt that they needed a break over the weekend so that the parents could spend time together while he watched their daughters. He also told them that he had a pool and he could take the girls to the movies. The overwhelmed and appreciative working parents agreed.

The Deacon instituted The Teddy Bear Club for all of the young ladies who would come and spend repeated weekends with him. The young girls enjoyed the many gifts that he lavishly bestowed upon them. The gifts included a teddy bear, jewelry and string bikinis. What the parents did not realize is that this beloved and trusted Deacon was taking photographs of their daughters while they slept posing them in various positions with their nightgowns pushed aside. The trusted Deacon was also touching the girls inappropriately at various times including while they slept. It appeared as if these crimes would go undetected until some of the girls started showing the signs of the onset of puberty. The cherished Deacon stopped extending weekend invitations to those girls.

The girls who were no longer welcomed at the Deacon’s during the weekend complained to their parents about some of the inappropriate touchings that had occurred while they spent time with the Deacon. The parents did not want to believe that their trusted Deacon could do anything to their daughters so they called a meeting with the Deacon. Of course the Deacon denied the allegations and protested that he was a lonely widower and because of certain health conditions, he was unable to have any sexual urges. The parents believed the Deacon and concluded that their daughters had misinterpreted what had happened. Surely a man of God would not do this to their daughters. So being reassured the parents sent the daughters who were invited back to the Deacon’s home every weekend.

Then the next group of girls was discharged from the Teddy Bear Club. Again a meeting was called with the Deacon and he once again denied the accusations. But while he was denying the girl’s charges, one of the girls climbed onto the Deacon’s lap and while engaged in his protestation of innocence, the Deacon’s hand disappeared under the young girl’s dress. The parents were shocked to silence but after the Deacon left, they reported their daughters’ allegations to law enforcement.

The investigation by the Sheriff’s Office led to the Deacon’s arrest. A search warrant conducted on his home revealed several dozen photographs of the girls as they slept with their nightgowns pushed aside. In addition, the girls had been posed in several positions. As a result of the investigation, the Deacon was convicted and sentenced to prison. Before he could serve a portion of his sentence, the Deacon died.

I urge all parents to believe your children if they tell you about inappropriate touching. It is very difficult for children to tell their parents of these acts as the children feel guilt or shame that this has happened to them. They also fear that they have done something wrong to have caused these actions. I also urge you to not give your trust so freely to others just because of their position in a church or in our society. Child Abusers are present in every walk of life. Although the parents in this case did everything they could do to investigate these allegations, please know that when confronted, an abuser will not readily admit to these crimes. Please keep in mind that your child’s trust in telling you should not be misplaced.

Pam Joy Smith Weekly

Michelle and the Ceramic Bear

As an Assistant State Attorney, one of the greatest rewards besides obtaining justice for a victim is not the salary one earns, but a hug or a heartfelt thank you from a victim. In handling child abuse and neglect cases, these children who have suffered at the hands of adults can pull at your heartstrings with the trust that they eventually place in you.

As prosecutors, we have been taught that abused children do not readily talk about the horrific things that they suffered at the hands of their perpetrator. In most cases, the perpetrator has instilled fear and control over these young victims with threats of violence and or death to the victim, the victim’s immediate family members and their pets if the child tells anyone. The children are also full of shame and guilt which makes it difficult for them to come forward and report the abuse. Since children have been taught to respect and obey adults, they also believe that their own tiny voices will never be heard or believed in our adult world. At seminars, we are taught that we need to establish a rapport with the child as well as earn their trust so that they will eventually be more comfortable in sharing what happened to them when they finally have to testify in court.

To put everything in proper perspective so that we can fully understand the toll it takes on these children, we as adults are told to imagine our very best and enjoyable sexual contact or experience. Then we are told to imagine or remember our worst sexual contact or experience. Next we are told, imagine that you are a child and you have been violated in the worst ways imaginable and threatened with harm if you report the violations. Now imagine that child having to go into a courtroom and telling strangers including a jury, a judge, necessary court personnel, lawyers and the accused what the accused did to them while the violator not only sees them but has his/her attorney there to cross examine the child.

After reviewing yet another sexual abuse case, I called the social worker to arrange to meet Michelle. The young girl had been repeatedly raped by her mother’s boyfriend. When confronted with the accusation, the defendant convinced Michelle’s mother that Michelle was a liar and that she was fabricating the entire story because Michelle resented him. On the first office visit, I always made it a point to not discuss the child’s terrifying experience. I met with Michelle on several occasions before I believed that she was ready to tell me about what had happened to her. On the visit after Michelle recounted the horror that she had suffered at the hands of her mother’s boyfriend, she surprised me by placing an adorable ceramic bear on my desk. I asked her what it was. She stunned me when she stated, “Ms. Smith, I was making this for my mother but I decided that I should give it to you because my mother does not believe me, but you do!”

Although this case was concluded in the early years of my career, that little ceramic bear still sits on my office bookshelf in a place of honor. When I reach for one of my law books, I remember Michelle and I am humbled with the memory of not only her trust in me as her advocate but the fact that because I believed in this child, I was given a bear made for her mother who should have believed her daughter. Michelle, wherever this may find you, I hope that you are happy and living a wonderful life full of love.

Children of sexual abuse are full of shame and it makes it very difficult for them to report the abuse. They also worry that people will not believe them and that the reporting may split their family apart. Because of the difficulties that these children face, false accusations of sexual abuse are NOT common, so please if a child confides in you, please report the abuse and help this child know that we will protect them. No child needs to return to the repeated abuse and abuser. Come join us at Whatafan.com and together let’s make a difference in our crusade to black out child abuse!

FAILURE TO THRIVE!

Failure to Thrive, A Manifestation of Child Abuse or Neglect!

Child Abuse includes neglect which is a pattern of failing to provide adequate food, shelter and clothing for a child.

She only weighed half of the weight of a normal baby for her age. The Doctor on the Child Protection am had written in his report that not only was this child dangerously underweight but she was also severely behind in her developmental skills. In reviewing the photographs attached with the Doctor’s conclusion, I was horrified to see an emaciated child who appeared to be listless and almost lifeless. The Doctor had listed the facts in his report along with his ultimate conclusion that the child was suffering from Failure to Thrive which is a form of Child Abuse. The syndrome is present in a significant number of children as a result of neglect. It results from inadequate nutrition. Sometimes it can be unintentional due to errors in feeding, improper feeding techniques or errors in preparing formula. Of course it can also be a result of poverty or even some organic diseases. In diagnosing this syndrome, facts are gathered from a home visit which includes an observation of how the child is fed, a thorough physical examination of the child and questioning the caregiver of the child.

The facts in this case showed that the child was the fourth child born to a married couple. Investigation revealed that the first three children were healthy, happy and thriving. The social workers conducted a home visit and found that the refrigerator was well-stocked with food. The mother was questioned about the young child’s feeding schedule and what formula she was using. After being examined by a pediatrician, the child was admitted to the hospital. During her stay in the hospital, the child gained weight. However upon discharge the child once again lost weight and had to be hospitalized again. The social workers visited the hospital and observed the nurses interacting with the child and they observed that during the child’s feeding, the nurses were singing and holding the child. While conducting a subsequent home visit after the child was discharged from the hospital, the social workers observed that the mother had asked her other children to feed the youngest. The children propped a bottle in the child’s mouth and left the young child alone on the sofa. The mother showed no concern for the child’s safety nor did she interact with the child. The social workers questioned the mother and discovered that she felt overwhelmed with the responsibility of an additional child. She received no assistance at home from her husband whom she not only resented but also suspected that he was having an extra-marital affair.

Upon reviewing the facts and the results of the physical examination of the child, and the facts gathered from the home visit, the experts on the Child Protection concluded that the child was suffering from Failure to Thrive. As a result of the diagnosis, the mother was provided with court ordered psychological counseling and parenting classes.

In cases like this it is imperative that there is intervention from experts. If you suspect that a child is being neglected, please do not ignore the facts that led you to that conclusion. Make a call to your local social agency and report what you suspect. Your call may very well save a child who will most likely die without the necessary medical intervention. In addition, many states allow the reporter to remain anonymous. If you are a parent and after having read this article, suspect that you may be neglecting a child, please seek help. With your help, we can continue our fight to black out child abuse. Children are precious and they should be loved, protected and cherished.