Child Abuse

Sports Fans Stand Up Against Abuse

Child Abuse, how do we begin to address this topic? Our answer is with sadness, anger, disbelief, outraged, frustration and conviction. The issue of child abuse and neglect has been the silent taboo for decades yet statistics of incidents resulting in death has soared. Media exposure has brought the problem out of the shadows of darkness and the stories disgust us all. Enough is Enough!

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What A Fan Charities and sports fans around the country are waging war on this epidemic robbing the innocence of our children. We have launched a program to advocate education and prevention of abused children called “FANS AGAINST CHILD ABUSE.” This campaign was created as a result of frustration felt by the principles behind What A Fan. While watching the numerous child abuse stories reported by the media at no time had there been information provided, a powerful face or company advocating on behalf of the victims or families effected, that was unacceptable…

Our mission is to put several recognizable faces behind this necessary cause, create a symbol of support that becomes synonymous with child abuse prevention and assist worthy organizations with desperately needed educational material and seminars to aid those effected by this devastating problem through our fund raising efforts.  Your support is vital to the success of this initiative. Visit our website for additional information regarding the Fans Against Child Abuse Campaign, learn how you can help and possibly win a Harley Davidson. www.whatafan.com/charities

THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND CHILD ABUSE

THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND CHILD ABUSE

BY: PAMELA JOY SMITH, J.D.

Researchers have known for years that domestic violence has a direct correlation to child abuse.  Children who live in an environment of domestic violence face several risks.  In addition to witnessing trauma, these children  risk becoming a direct target of abuse.  They also face the risk of losing one or both of their parents as a result of the domestic violence.  The children who are exposed to this violence become fearful and anxious. They are always worried for themselves, the parent who is being abused and their siblings.  They feel worthless and powerless. Some may often feel rage, embarrassment and humiliation.

Statistics reveal that children in homes where violence occurs are physically abused or neglected at a rate of 1500% of the national average.  Child abuse occurs in 30-60% where domestic violence is present.  Unfortunately history has taught us that the behavior will most likely be repeated in the next generation by the very victims who were abused at the hands of a parent in domestic violence.

Unacceptable!

The correlation between domestic violence and child abuse share several similarities.  Both forms of abuse cross all boundaries of economic levels, race, and religious faith. For various reasons, both domestic violence and child abuse are under-reported. Children who grow up in this type of environment are expected to keep the family secret.

Children’s behavior can also be affected. The child can experience physical responses including headaches, stomachaches and losing the ability to concentrate. They may experience frustration and rage directed at the abuser for the violence and the mother for being unable to prevent the violence.

What can we do? Pay attention to the behavior of children you may know. Behavior of children who are abused in a situation of domestic violence may include acting out, withdrawal or anxiousness to please. They may exhibit anxiety and poor attendance in school and a lack of attention span.  As adults we can make a difference in a child’s life. If you become aware of a situation in which a child is not only being abused and his/her parent is also being victimized by domestic violence, reach out and help. Call the police and report what you know. Try to give the child emotional support and encouragement to tell the authorities the truth. Remember we can make a difference.

A Call to Action

Call to Action                       

 

 By: Pamela Joy Smith, JD

We have asked the serious questions about child abuse and what we can do to prevent child abuse. We can make a difference in a child’s life. Wouldn’t you like to know that you were able to make a difference in a child’s life?  We at What A Fan are dedicated to our charity of Blackout Child Abuse. My challenge begins today! Join us at What A Fan and make a pledge that you too will join us in our fight to Blackout Child Abuse. Between now and Labor Day weekend of 2013, I urge each of you to answer with YES, count me in, I will join Whatafan.com ‘s team to Blackout Child Abuse.

Here are some of the additional things you can do to pledge and help us in this endeavor. 

1.

Make a commitment to join our team to fight child abuse.

2.

Read all that you can about child abuse.

3.

Communicate regularly with your children so that they know that they can tell you anything.

4.

Educate your children on what is appropriate touching and what is not.

5.

Educate your children about child abuse.

6.

Become involved in your child’s school, and extra circular activities.

7.

Volunteer to become a Guardian ad Litem for children who are in our court system

8.

Become involved in legislation concerning child abuse.

9.

Follow court cases dealing with child abuse.

10.

Show up in court to observe cases dealing with child abuse.

11.

Share what you learn with other parents and adults.

12.

Learn what behaviors are exhibited in those children who have been subjected to child abuse.

13.

Do not be afraid to report suspected child abuse to the authorities.

14.

Learn all you can about the people who you leave your children with for activities, day care and yes even church groups and leaders.

15.

Be ever vigilant not only for your children but other children.

16.

If you become a witness to child abuse, step up and report it to the authorities and testify truthfully in court hearings concerning your observations.

17.

Be supportive of any child who has been submitted to child abuse.

18.

Always be aware of older children or other adults who show an abnormal amount of attention to your child or children.

19.

Be aware of people who appear to be targeting your child and giving him or her inappropriate or

expensive gifts.

20.

Do not give up.

Surely you can join us in this endeavor. Know that we are the voice for children in the adult world. We need to protect all children so that they do not have to experience child abuse or continued exposure to abuse. TOGETHER WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN A CHILD’S LIFE.  COME JOIN US AND SHOW ALL CHILDREN WE STAND UNITED IN BLACKING OUT CHILD ABUSE!

Parental Responsibilites

  Parental Responsibilities and Child Abuse

                                           

                           By: Pamela Joy Smith, J.D.

     Statistics reveal that every year there are 3.3 million reports of child abuse made in the United States. Every year in our country, five children a day will die due to child abuse.  As parents, we have a duty and responsibility to protect our children.  With such staggering statistics, what can we embrace in an effort to prevent our own children from becoming yet another statistic?

     Our first duty to our children after providing them with food and shelter is to educate not only ourselves but also our children about child abuse.  What does educating ourselves about child abuse involve?

1.     Read articles and books about child abuse including your local paper.

2.     Realize that child abuse encompasses physical abuse, sexual abuse, neglect and abandonment.

3.     Learn what behaviors are exhibited in those children who have been subjected to child abuse.

4.     Realize that child abusers cross every occupation, sex, race and economic position in society.  For example, some of the most trusted people in our lives are capable of being a child abuser. As a prosecutor I have seen a deacon of a church, parents, stepparents, grandparents, siblings, caregivers and even teachers as abusers.

 Secondly our duties as a parent are to ensure that the environment in which we place our children is one that has been thoroughly checked. For Example:

1.     Who is the babysitter you are trusting to watch your child while you are out of the home?

2.     Have you talked to other people who have used this sitter in their home?

3.     If you are placing your child in a day care facility, have you talked to not only current parents who have their children enrolled but also other parents who have since left the day care facility?

4.     Are you encouraged to drop in at any time of the day at the day care facility? From personal experience,  I dropped in to a church day care unannounced to discover my infant son crying hysterically. When confronted with questions, the staff told me he was spoiled and that he had refused to eat. When I took him into my arms and fed him, he quieted at once and drank a bottle.   I then looked over to where his baby food jars were stored. Despite it being mid-week, the cubby was full of the baby food I had brought so that he could be fed. When questioned about that, they told me that they disagreed with what I was feeding him! Needless to say that was his last day at that day care.

5.     Just because you may be satisfied with the day care you are currently using, do not let your guard down as providers will change along with policies and new directors.

6.     If your child asks to spend the night at a friend’s house, find out who will be there at that home. Have you met the parents and the child’s siblings and even the other children who have been invited?

7.     Are other adults outside of your immediate family paying too much attention to your child and giving him or her gifts?

          The third thing you can do as a parent is to educate your child. Children are so trusting and they look to adults for guidance and direction. We also teach them to obey other adults who are in positions of authority. However, we need to teach them under what circumstances it is appropriate for them to not listen to that adult. Teach them what is appropriate touching and the occasions in which they are allowed to hug another person or adult. Also teach them that there are inappropriate touching s and that they are permitted to say “no” if they feel uncomfortable. Encourage them to tell you of these incidents.

       In educating our children, we also have the responsibility of communicating with our children.  Always engage your children in communication.  Let them know that no subject that is off limits for discussion.  Stay involved in knowing their schedules and where they are supposed to be at certain times.  Find out who may be involved with them during school and during after school activities. Communicate with them about these individuals. Be active and proactive.

     In conclusion, if your child does become a victim of child abuse, it is your duty as a parent to report the abuse and be supportive of your child during the entire legal process. Do not blame yourself or the child.  In addition, do not refuse counseling for your child. Many children will benefit from mental health counseling so that they realize that they did nothing wrong.  Your child needs to be reassured that it was not their fault, and that you love them unconditionally. Let them know that you will be there for them during this process. Encourage your child to talk to the prosecutor and to the law enforcement officers so that they can work together with you and the child to get justice for the child. Do not make comments in front of your child that you do not want your child to testify! What message are you sending to your child? Also realize that children are often told by their abusers that the abuser will hurt their parents, siblings or pets if the child reports the abuse. This takes an emotional toll on children. Your child is looking to you for protection against the abuser and your love and continued support will help them recover. Together we can make a difference in a child’s life.

Child Abuse Prevention

Pam Joy Smith discuss ways we can all help prevent Child Abuse. Please pass it on! Visit www.whatafan.com

What Can I Do?

What Can I Do?

 By: Pamela Joy Smith

 As an experienced prosecutor, I am often asked “what can I do?” There are so many things that you can do but my primary response is to become educated about child abuse and become involved.  As concerned parents, we need to begin the discussion about child abuse in our own homes with our children.  Unfortunately for those children who are being abused at the hands of their parents or caregivers, the abused children are living the nightmare.  It is incumbent upon our teachers to educate our children about the various kinds of child abuse as well as what children should do if they are being abused. Our teachers should encourage their students to continue the discussion at home.

Since our children spend the majority of their days in school, it is not unusual for an abused child to confide in their teacher.  It then becomes the teacher’s responsibility to protect that child by reporting the abuse to the authorities.  In fact the majority of jurisdictions make it mandatory that teachers and health care providers must report abuse. Sometimes adults question their involvement in such sensitive and horrendous matters. Currently I have a voice teacher who recently told me that one of his young students had confided in him that she was being raped by the stepfather.  Everytime she tells her mother about the abuse, the mother beats her.  I was so discouraged when I asked him if he had called the authorities to report the abuse.  He responded with the typical answer that I hear too frequently, “I don’t want to get involved and what if she is lying about this? “ I strongly encouraged him to make the call and help this child.  When he answered that he wanted to think about it, I asked whether he would identify the child to me and I would make the call. I tried to reason with him and tell him that children of abuse are so traumatized that they are often afraid to report the abuse to anyone for fear of retaliation.  It takes a lot of courage for a child to confide in an adult It is not our job to try to determine if the child is being straight forward, rather report it and let the experts determine the validity as well as the extent of the abuse.  In fact many cases are undetected because the abused child refuses to tell anyone about the abuse.

If a child places their trust in you with what they are experiencing please do not ignore the child, your call could save that child’s life and also protect that child from repeated incidents of child abuse.  In many jurisdictions, you can remain anonymous. Get educated on this topic and get involved. Join us at Whatafan.com in our commitment to black out child abuse.

A Mother’s Betrayal

A Mother’s Betraya

By: Pamela Joy Smith

  I remember asking myself how can a mother not protect her children against anyone who is violating her children and robbing them of their innocence.  I had yet another case involving two children being violated at the hands of their mother’s boyfriend.

The mother worked every day and attended school at night in an attempt to seek a better life for herself.  She entrusted the care of her eight year old daughter and her six year old daughter to her boyfriend.  Her daughters repeatedly told their mother that her boyfriend was doing nasty things to their private parts while the mother was attending school.  Their mother refused to believe them.

However, on the next doctor’s visit, the doctor advised the mother that both girls had gonorrhea, a sexually transmitted disease.  He explained that the infection could be spread by contact with the mouth, vagina, penis, or anus of another person who has the disease.  Even though this mother knew her own boyfriend was being treated for this sexually transmitted disease, she refused to believe that he had raped her own daughters and infected them with this disease.

The Child Protection Team was notified and the Court determined that since the mother was not protecting the children against the sexual abuse, the children were placed in the custody of a loving grandmother.  Pending the trial of the boyfriend, I contacted the grandmother and arranged to visit the children in her home as she had no transportation.  I met the two young children who melted my heart.  They were well-mannered, polite and sweet.  It was evident that they were thriving with the love from their grandmother. They were straight forward in telling me the repeated times that they had been raped.

 At trial, both girls had to testify as to what the defendant had done to them.  Then came the ultimate, the defendant’s star witness was the girls’ mother.  She testified that her daughters had never liked her boyfriend and that she was adamant that they would say anything to try to convince her to leave him.  I remember asking her how could she explain the Doctor’s opinion that both girls had suffered from being raped as evidenced by his medical examination.  The mother calmly answered that her daughters were sexually curious and that she had observed them on several occasions trying to insert various objects including sticks into their private parts.

 Justice was reached when the jury believed the two young girls and found the defendant guilty. Defendant was sentenced to life with a minimum mandatory sentence of twenty five years in prison.  I remember calling the grandmother after I had returned to my office.  The grandmother thanked me repeatedly and her two granddaughters got on the phone and thanked me for helping them. The grandmother then told me that shortly after the verdict and before my call, that her daughter had driven recklessly onto her yard screaming at the girls, “I hope you are satisfied.”

 Wasn’t it enough that these young girls had been raped repeatedly, that they had to be treated for a sexually transmitted disease, that they had to testify in front of a courtroom of strangers in front of their abuser and finally have their own mother betray them?

 Although this is one case solved, there are so many children in our society who suffer daily at the hands of their abusers.  Please join us at Whatafan.com and together, let us make a difference in a child’s life. To quote from an unknown author “ that to the world you may be one person but to that one person you may be the world.” If you know of a child who has confided in you about the abuse from which they suffer, become their world and help stop the abuse by picking up the phone and notifying the authorities.