What Can I Do?

What Can I Do?

 By: Pamela Joy Smith

 As an experienced prosecutor, I am often asked “what can I do?” There are so many things that you can do but my primary response is to become educated about child abuse and become involved.  As concerned parents, we need to begin the discussion about child abuse in our own homes with our children.  Unfortunately for those children who are being abused at the hands of their parents or caregivers, the abused children are living the nightmare.  It is incumbent upon our teachers to educate our children about the various kinds of child abuse as well as what children should do if they are being abused. Our teachers should encourage their students to continue the discussion at home.

Since our children spend the majority of their days in school, it is not unusual for an abused child to confide in their teacher.  It then becomes the teacher’s responsibility to protect that child by reporting the abuse to the authorities.  In fact the majority of jurisdictions make it mandatory that teachers and health care providers must report abuse. Sometimes adults question their involvement in such sensitive and horrendous matters. Currently I have a voice teacher who recently told me that one of his young students had confided in him that she was being raped by the stepfather.  Everytime she tells her mother about the abuse, the mother beats her.  I was so discouraged when I asked him if he had called the authorities to report the abuse.  He responded with the typical answer that I hear too frequently, “I don’t want to get involved and what if she is lying about this? “ I strongly encouraged him to make the call and help this child.  When he answered that he wanted to think about it, I asked whether he would identify the child to me and I would make the call. I tried to reason with him and tell him that children of abuse are so traumatized that they are often afraid to report the abuse to anyone for fear of retaliation.  It takes a lot of courage for a child to confide in an adult It is not our job to try to determine if the child is being straight forward, rather report it and let the experts determine the validity as well as the extent of the abuse.  In fact many cases are undetected because the abused child refuses to tell anyone about the abuse.

If a child places their trust in you with what they are experiencing please do not ignore the child, your call could save that child’s life and also protect that child from repeated incidents of child abuse.  In many jurisdictions, you can remain anonymous. Get educated on this topic and get involved. Join us at Whatafan.com in our commitment to black out child abuse.

A Mother’s Betrayal

A Mother’s Betraya

By: Pamela Joy Smith

  I remember asking myself how can a mother not protect her children against anyone who is violating her children and robbing them of their innocence.  I had yet another case involving two children being violated at the hands of their mother’s boyfriend.

The mother worked every day and attended school at night in an attempt to seek a better life for herself.  She entrusted the care of her eight year old daughter and her six year old daughter to her boyfriend.  Her daughters repeatedly told their mother that her boyfriend was doing nasty things to their private parts while the mother was attending school.  Their mother refused to believe them.

However, on the next doctor’s visit, the doctor advised the mother that both girls had gonorrhea, a sexually transmitted disease.  He explained that the infection could be spread by contact with the mouth, vagina, penis, or anus of another person who has the disease.  Even though this mother knew her own boyfriend was being treated for this sexually transmitted disease, she refused to believe that he had raped her own daughters and infected them with this disease.

The Child Protection Team was notified and the Court determined that since the mother was not protecting the children against the sexual abuse, the children were placed in the custody of a loving grandmother.  Pending the trial of the boyfriend, I contacted the grandmother and arranged to visit the children in her home as she had no transportation.  I met the two young children who melted my heart.  They were well-mannered, polite and sweet.  It was evident that they were thriving with the love from their grandmother. They were straight forward in telling me the repeated times that they had been raped.

 At trial, both girls had to testify as to what the defendant had done to them.  Then came the ultimate, the defendant’s star witness was the girls’ mother.  She testified that her daughters had never liked her boyfriend and that she was adamant that they would say anything to try to convince her to leave him.  I remember asking her how could she explain the Doctor’s opinion that both girls had suffered from being raped as evidenced by his medical examination.  The mother calmly answered that her daughters were sexually curious and that she had observed them on several occasions trying to insert various objects including sticks into their private parts.

 Justice was reached when the jury believed the two young girls and found the defendant guilty. Defendant was sentenced to life with a minimum mandatory sentence of twenty five years in prison.  I remember calling the grandmother after I had returned to my office.  The grandmother thanked me repeatedly and her two granddaughters got on the phone and thanked me for helping them. The grandmother then told me that shortly after the verdict and before my call, that her daughter had driven recklessly onto her yard screaming at the girls, “I hope you are satisfied.”

 Wasn’t it enough that these young girls had been raped repeatedly, that they had to be treated for a sexually transmitted disease, that they had to testify in front of a courtroom of strangers in front of their abuser and finally have their own mother betray them?

 Although this is one case solved, there are so many children in our society who suffer daily at the hands of their abusers.  Please join us at Whatafan.com and together, let us make a difference in a child’s life. To quote from an unknown author “ that to the world you may be one person but to that one person you may be the world.” If you know of a child who has confided in you about the abuse from which they suffer, become their world and help stop the abuse by picking up the phone and notifying the authorities.