Pam Joy Smith Weekly

Michelle and the Ceramic Bear

As an Assistant State Attorney, one of the greatest rewards besides obtaining justice for a victim is not the salary one earns, but a hug or a heartfelt thank you from a victim. In handling child abuse and neglect cases, these children who have suffered at the hands of adults can pull at your heartstrings with the trust that they eventually place in you.

As prosecutors, we have been taught that abused children do not readily talk about the horrific things that they suffered at the hands of their perpetrator. In most cases, the perpetrator has instilled fear and control over these young victims with threats of violence and or death to the victim, the victim’s immediate family members and their pets if the child tells anyone. The children are also full of shame and guilt which makes it difficult for them to come forward and report the abuse. Since children have been taught to respect and obey adults, they also believe that their own tiny voices will never be heard or believed in our adult world. At seminars, we are taught that we need to establish a rapport with the child as well as earn their trust so that they will eventually be more comfortable in sharing what happened to them when they finally have to testify in court.

To put everything in proper perspective so that we can fully understand the toll it takes on these children, we as adults are told to imagine our very best and enjoyable sexual contact or experience. Then we are told to imagine or remember our worst sexual contact or experience. Next we are told, imagine that you are a child and you have been violated in the worst ways imaginable and threatened with harm if you report the violations. Now imagine that child having to go into a courtroom and telling strangers including a jury, a judge, necessary court personnel, lawyers and the accused what the accused did to them while the violator not only sees them but has his/her attorney there to cross examine the child.

After reviewing yet another sexual abuse case, I called the social worker to arrange to meet Michelle. The young girl had been repeatedly raped by her mother’s boyfriend. When confronted with the accusation, the defendant convinced Michelle’s mother that Michelle was a liar and that she was fabricating the entire story because Michelle resented him. On the first office visit, I always made it a point to not discuss the child’s terrifying experience. I met with Michelle on several occasions before I believed that she was ready to tell me about what had happened to her. On the visit after Michelle recounted the horror that she had suffered at the hands of her mother’s boyfriend, she surprised me by placing an adorable ceramic bear on my desk. I asked her what it was. She stunned me when she stated, “Ms. Smith, I was making this for my mother but I decided that I should give it to you because my mother does not believe me, but you do!”

Although this case was concluded in the early years of my career, that little ceramic bear still sits on my office bookshelf in a place of honor. When I reach for one of my law books, I remember Michelle and I am humbled with the memory of not only her trust in me as her advocate but the fact that because I believed in this child, I was given a bear made for her mother who should have believed her daughter. Michelle, wherever this may find you, I hope that you are happy and living a wonderful life full of love.

Children of sexual abuse are full of shame and it makes it very difficult for them to report the abuse. They also worry that people will not believe them and that the reporting may split their family apart. Because of the difficulties that these children face, false accusations of sexual abuse are NOT common, so please if a child confides in you, please report the abuse and help this child know that we will protect them. No child needs to return to the repeated abuse and abuser. Come join us at Whatafan.com and together let’s make a difference in our crusade to black out child abuse!

FAILURE TO THRIVE!

Failure to Thrive, A Manifestation of Child Abuse or Neglect!

Child Abuse includes neglect which is a pattern of failing to provide adequate food, shelter and clothing for a child.

She only weighed half of the weight of a normal baby for her age. The Doctor on the Child Protection am had written in his report that not only was this child dangerously underweight but she was also severely behind in her developmental skills. In reviewing the photographs attached with the Doctor’s conclusion, I was horrified to see an emaciated child who appeared to be listless and almost lifeless. The Doctor had listed the facts in his report along with his ultimate conclusion that the child was suffering from Failure to Thrive which is a form of Child Abuse. The syndrome is present in a significant number of children as a result of neglect. It results from inadequate nutrition. Sometimes it can be unintentional due to errors in feeding, improper feeding techniques or errors in preparing formula. Of course it can also be a result of poverty or even some organic diseases. In diagnosing this syndrome, facts are gathered from a home visit which includes an observation of how the child is fed, a thorough physical examination of the child and questioning the caregiver of the child.

The facts in this case showed that the child was the fourth child born to a married couple. Investigation revealed that the first three children were healthy, happy and thriving. The social workers conducted a home visit and found that the refrigerator was well-stocked with food. The mother was questioned about the young child’s feeding schedule and what formula she was using. After being examined by a pediatrician, the child was admitted to the hospital. During her stay in the hospital, the child gained weight. However upon discharge the child once again lost weight and had to be hospitalized again. The social workers visited the hospital and observed the nurses interacting with the child and they observed that during the child’s feeding, the nurses were singing and holding the child. While conducting a subsequent home visit after the child was discharged from the hospital, the social workers observed that the mother had asked her other children to feed the youngest. The children propped a bottle in the child’s mouth and left the young child alone on the sofa. The mother showed no concern for the child’s safety nor did she interact with the child. The social workers questioned the mother and discovered that she felt overwhelmed with the responsibility of an additional child. She received no assistance at home from her husband whom she not only resented but also suspected that he was having an extra-marital affair.

Upon reviewing the facts and the results of the physical examination of the child, and the facts gathered from the home visit, the experts on the Child Protection concluded that the child was suffering from Failure to Thrive. As a result of the diagnosis, the mother was provided with court ordered psychological counseling and parenting classes.

In cases like this it is imperative that there is intervention from experts. If you suspect that a child is being neglected, please do not ignore the facts that led you to that conclusion. Make a call to your local social agency and report what you suspect. Your call may very well save a child who will most likely die without the necessary medical intervention. In addition, many states allow the reporter to remain anonymous. If you are a parent and after having read this article, suspect that you may be neglecting a child, please seek help. With your help, we can continue our fight to black out child abuse. Children are precious and they should be loved, protected and cherished.